Breaking News - U.S. Government Looses Trademark Battle Over Name – U.S. to be Renamed by 2011

GENEVA, SWITZERLAND - Today the World Intellectual Property Organization announced a decision holding that the United States of America has lost a long standing battle over its naming rights to a contingency of South American countries who have, for years, claimed they owned rights to the country's valuable albeit tarnished global brand.

“We are thrilled with the decision of the international body,” said Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. “No longer will the world be fooled by the pretender that was the old United States! They will be fooled by an entirely new United States!” he added.


The dispute centers around a 1597 Treaty between what are today known as Venezuela, Peru, and Columbia and the Spanish Empire. Following years of occupation Spain entered into the treaty known as Tonto Abril whereby the Spanish troops were pulled from these territories under the condition that they remain under the rule of a centralized governor who titled the territory Los Estados Unidos or The United States.
Due to a pre-scheduled afternoon siesta the President of Spain, Rodriguez Zapatero, was not immediately available for comment.

Speaking to the Press President Obama expressed cautioned remorse about the World Court’s decision.


“We are disheartened with today’s decision” said President Obama. “But with every end, brings a new beginning. We have hope. Hope for change.” He added, “And besides, with the way we’ve been running this place the past few years renaming the country may not be such a bad idea.”

The next step in the process will be a massive renaming campaign to figure out what our nation will be called. Constitutional scholars are already working feverishly to determine how the renaming of the country will occur. Some have already set forth theories that a Constitutional Amendment is needed to rename the country named in the original Declaration of Independence. Others have suggested a special election during the November mid-terms to see what can be done.

Early names that have surfaced as potential successors are Middle Earth, The Real America, and America 2 – Electric Bugaloo.

“I am simply not sure what the future holds for us now” said Speaker of the House John Boehner. “I mean we had always wanted to remake America … but this is not exactly what we had in mind.” “In conclusion” he added “We just want everyone to enjoy this last April Fools Day as the United States of America.”

Happy April Fools Day to All.

The Trademark Company